Today's Rape Culture

Rape Culture is defined as “a society or environment whose prevailing social attitudes have the effect of normalizing or trivializing sexual assault and abuse.”

Well, if this doesn’t sound like modern-day America, then I don’t know what does!

Let’s just visit some facts for a moment.

• Every 98 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted.

• The majority of sexual assault victims are under the age of 30.

• Ages 12-34 have the highest risk of being raped.

• 1 in every 6 women in America has reported being sexually assaulted.

• Men who are in college are 5 times more likely to be assaulted than those who are not.

These are all considered “dark numbers,” because many rapes and assaults go unreported. Why do they go unreported? They go unreported because of rape culture. It is so common for women to come forward about being raped or sexually assaulted and then be asked “What were you wearing?” and “Were you drinking?” Does it matter? Honestly. Why are these girls being questioned because they were being attacked? Why are we teaching our young girls to “dress modestly so boys don’t get any ideas”? Why aren’t we teaching young boys not to act on these “ideas”? Just some things to think about.

When I was younger, my mom took me to a seminar-type-thing that was all about growing into a young woman. The majority of girls there were young, as it was aimed to teach younger girls how to respect themselves as they grew older. I was maybe 10 years old. The most remarkable moment of that day, aside from getting that cool new singer to autograph my CD (yes, this was when CDs were a thing), was when they said that girls shouldn’t wear clothes that expose their bra straps. Why? Because boys crave a “full image” and if they see your bra strap they will then start imagining what your entire chest and bra look like. WHAT?! You’re telling me that a simple piece of fabric is going to make you think about what my chest looks like? SO I NEED TO COVER IT UP? Why don’t you just not think about what my chest looks like?

I’m not trying to rag on this seminar. It was actually really informative and they spoke a lot about how to love yourself and how important it is to be yourself. My issue isn’t with the seminar, it’s with today’s American Culture. There shouldn’t have to be seminars like this one. We shouldn’t have to cover our bra straps to prevent ourselves from being envisioned naked by boys.

While we’re on the topic of what we should and shouldn’t wear, let’s talk about school dress codes. No spaghetti-strap tank tops, because it’s too revealing (we wouldn’t want to distract the boys in our classroom, now would we?). When I was in elementary school, shorts that had writing on the butt were really popular. We weren’t allowed to wear them because it would encourage boys to look at our butts. Why aren’t we teaching these boys that they can read the words on the shorts without sexualizing us?

But, now that we’re in college, we can wear shorts with writing on our butts without being sexualized? Wrong. 11.2% of college students report having experienced sexual assault or harassment.

In today’s world, it is considered acceptable to stare at a women’s butt or chest. Some may say it’s the norm. “You didn’t see her ass? What’s wrong with you?” Guys will say to each other. Just yesterday, my boyfriend said this happened at work. “I was working, and one of the guys asked me if I had seen the girl that was just at the counter because she was “so hot”” he told me.

Last night my boyfriend and I went out to eat, and when we left he said “I caught three guys staring at you in there.” I was wearing leggings and a hoodie. Literally wearing my pajamas. I looked at him for a second before saying, “even if they were looking at me, they weren’t looking at me as anything more than a sex object.” Honestly, I’m disgusted just writing this article right now. My boyfriend sees me as a beautiful, strong, woman, and sometimes he thinks other guys do too. Maybe they do, but many of them are just looking at me (and every other girl) as a sex object. He gets upset because he thinks they're admiring me. I get upset because they're sexualizing me.

“I couldn’t get in the truck with her because she was wearing that mini skirt and you would have gotten mad at me.” Someone once said about me, to my boyfriend. What makes it okay for him to say that about me? Why is it socially acceptable for him to notice that I am wearing a skirt and therefor he can’t be around? “you would have gotten mad at me” This implies that he would have had no self-control because of the fact I was wearing a mini skirt.

I’m a pretty independent, strong woman, but this unnerved me quite a bit. Who is he to look at me like that? Part of me wished my boyfriend never would have told me about the incident, but if he didn’t, I probably wouldn’t be writing this, and this needs to be written. It’s not just me; it’s not just in North Canton, Ohio. It’s all women, everywhere.

I’m not saying all men are dirtbags, and I’m not saying all women are innocent. I’m just saying that rape culture is a growing issue that needs more attention than it gets.

All facts are from https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence